


Attachments

by SirFangirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, lotor can't handle relationships, mentions of Shallura - Freeform, mild season five spoilers, rare pair stuff that no one asked for, self-indulgence, when will lotor reunite with his generals 2k18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 09:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13854834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirFangirl/pseuds/SirFangirl
Summary: "For Narti."The words hurt as much as the blow that follows after. Lotor blinks wearily as one of his now-former generals binds his hands, and that's the last thing he can feel before slipping into unconsciousness, one name echoing in his mind.





	Attachments

**Author's Note:**

> (Hoooooo boy ain't nothing like posting fanfic for a pairing that only ten people in the fandom like anyway please enjoy this self-indulgence fic for the rarest of Voltron rare pairs)

"For Narti." 

The words hurt as much as the blow that follows after. Lotor blinks wearily as one of his now-former generals binds his hands, and that's the last thing he can feel before slipping into unconsciousness, one name echoing in his mind. 

* * *

"Acxa." 

Lotor watches as Acxa turns away from the ship's window and to him. Her expression is neutral, unsure of what to expect from him. 

"Yes, Lotor?" 

"How long until we're away from this place?" he asks, doing his best to keep his voice passive. They're leaving Central Command after Zarkon had summoned Lotor to admonish him once more. He should be used to the criticism after facing millennia of it, but Zarkon always finds a new way to get under his skin. Lotor has to adapt to it, of course, so that's why he keeps his head high and his hurt hidden in the darkest part of his heart. 

"Give it a few ticks, sir," Acxa replies, preparing the ship to go into lightspeed. In an instant, the stars blur as the ship gains speed. The stars become more visible, and Acxa begins activating the autopilot. "Goodbye, Central Command. Hello, random part of the galaxy," she quips, mainly to herself. Lotor still smirks at the quip. 

"Does it ever get old for you?" he asks. 

"What?"

"Seeing the stars after getting out of lightspeed?" 

"Oh, well, I guess not. I've never really thought too much about it," Acxa admits, stepping away from the controls. "What about you?" 

Lotor chuckles, "Hardly, even after thousands of years."

"Nice to know your age hasn't gotten to you yet," Acxa jests.

"Oh, hush," Lotor says playfully. The jest is only something that one of Lotor's generals can say to him and get such a positive reaction to. It's only something that can happen between friends.

Friends.

No, Lotor shouldn't regard his general like that. Friends mean attachments, and attachments mean weakness, the same weakness that Zarkon finds in Lotor. Attachments also need to be hidden with his hurt.

"Lotor? You there?" Acxa asks, distracting Lotor from his thoughts.

"Yes, I am."

"Alright, you looked like something was bothering you."

"It's nothing," he lies as best as he can.

"And by nothing you mean Zarkon?" Acxa inquires. Once again, she says something that no other person in this galaxy aside from Ezor, Zethrid, or Narti can say to Lotor.  Once again, Lotor realizes that she says something only a friend can say to him. 

Zarkon was right. Lotor is weak, but not because he's a half-breed. 

"If that's what you want to call it," Lotor states cooly despite the turmoil going on in his mind. 

"It's not because of me and the other generals, is it?" she asks concernedly. 

"What do you mean?" Lotor questions, even though he knows already.

"I know the Galra are very concerned about how much Galra is in our blood. Is your father upset with you because I'm your general and a half-breed?" 

"No, that's not his primary reason for his anger," Lotor says. It's a yes-and-no kind of answer, but still an answer. "He thinks I'm weak," he admits, the words gliding off his tongue before he can withhold them. 

"Why's that?" 

"Because I'm a half-breed." Lotor's scolding himself mentally for divulging this information to Acxa. He's the prince of the Galra Empire. The empire that is his birthright is filled men and women with a lust for a chance at the throne, despite their loyalty to Zarkon. His generals are not immune to that desire, and that is why friendship is weakness.

So why does Lotor feel so at ease with revealing his secrets- his weaknesses- to Acxa?

"That has nothing to do with your strength," Acxa states assuredly. Apparently, she trusts Lotor enough to say something that disagrees with her emperor and not have it come back to said emperor. How foolish.

"He's right, though. I am weak," Lotor retorts. He immediately wishes he could take those words back.

"How so?" Acxa questions, genuinely concerned by his statement.

Lotor sighs wearily, having accepted defeat to whatever is compelling him to say these compromising things. "It's not because of my heritage. No, it's because of these... attachments that I'm forming." 

"You mean me and the others?" 

Lotor's silence is enough of an answer for Acxa. They stand there, prince and general, as the stars bear witness to this conversation between friends who shouldn't be friends. 

"When you asked me to be your general," Acxa begins, breaking the silence, "you told me that it didn't matter that I was half-Galra and that the empire could use some change in its ideals. Maybe it's time that we stop viewing certain attachments as weakness." 

Lotor refrains from rolling his eyes at that statement. He doesn't want to admit that she may have a point. "What do you want from me, Acxa?" he questions a little too coldly. From the corner of his eye, he can see Acxa bristle at his tone but still regain her composure.

"What do you want from me, sir?" 

It should be simple for Lotor to say that he wants a loyal, effective general from Acxa, but it only feels like it's a half-truth. The words "a friend" are on the tip of his tongue, but Lotor doesn't need a friend. He didn't need one when he was younger, when those under him would whisper behind his back about how he's not worthy for the throne. 

"I think you know, Acxa," Lotor answers. He can see Acxa turning away from the stars and to him, but he won't face her. 

"There's nothing wrong with wanting a friend, Lotor," Acxa says. 

Anger surges through Lotor, but it's gone and replaced by defeat. She knows, and that's frightening. If anyone wants to exploit Lotor's weakness, it's Acxa, because she knows what that weakness is. 

"Let me know when we've arrived," Lotor says. He walks away before Acxa can try to get him to stay.

* * *

She saved his life today.

It was an intense fight against some rebels who were surprisingly stronger than expected. Lotor had defeated one when Acxa prevented another rebel from flanking him. He shared a brief stare with Acxa after she took down that rebel before he went back to his mission.

Now, Lotor is in his ship, looking over the intel the rebels had stolen. His generals are out gathering intel concerning any other rebel activity on the planet Elexor. Lotor doesn't expect them to be back anytime soon. 

"Sir?" Acxa calls from the entrance to the ship. 

Or maybe they'll be back now. 

"Come in," Lotor says. He only hears one set of footsteps behind him. "Is it just you, Acxa?"

"Yes, sir," Acxa answers. "I found no signs of insurgency where you told me to look." 

"Good. Let's hope the same can be said for Ezor, Zethrid, and Narti."

"Of course, sir." She still stands there. The only sound in the ship is Lotor's looking through the stolen intel. 

"Thank you for saving me today, Acxa," Lotor says, turning himself with his chair. 

Acxa smiles and nods, "Anything for you, sir." 

Lotor can't ignore the smile on Acxa's face, as much as he should. The smile accompanies the sparkle of pride in her eyes. It's endearing, to say the least. That thought is probably what compels Lotor to stand up from his chair. He walks to Acxa and stops a short distance away from her. 

"What am I doing?" he breathes. 

"I don't know, Lotor. You weren't going to-" 

Lotor cuts her off with a chaste kiss. He can't fully explain why he does it, and he can't explain why Acxa keeps him from pulling away by kissing him back. 

This shouldn't be happening. Lotor should have never left his chair. He hates how he pulls her closer and how she anchors herself to him by tangling her fingers in his hair. It feels so  _needy_ , so weak. 

And yet, Lotor doesn't want this moment to end. 

* * *

 

They don't talk about that moment on Elexor. However, Lotor and Acxa find themselves in situations that mirror that moment. 

"We shouldn't be doing this," Lotor states breathily after another one of those moments. 

"Tell me about it," Acxa concurs. 

However, neither of them say out loud why they shouldn't be doing this, and maybe that's why they go back to kissing each other, with Lotor pulling Acxa as close to him as possible and with Acxa tangling her fingers in Lotor's white tresses. 

* * *

Lotor realizes why he should've never kissed Acxa in the first place. This fling he's had with her, it only makes her betrayal hurt more than it should. He wishes she would say something to him, give him a chance to explain why he cut down Narti with no hesitation. But she won't give him the chance, and maybe Lotor doesn't deserve it. Regardless of how Lotor feels, he needs to get out of here.

* * *

He can't recall how long it's been since he last saw his generals, but it's been awhile. Lotor's been too preoccupied with building his alliance with the Voltron paladins, specifically Princess Allura. The princess is the only one who can help him with his research into his Altean ancestry. Lotor tries to be as friendly as possible in order to gain the princess' trust. Of course, some of his gestures may be interpreted as romantic, but Lotor doesn't care about gaining Allura's romantic interest. Sure, the princess is beautiful and smart and kind, but he has noticed her longing glances at Shiro, who has become much more irritable, apparently. Besides, Lotor is not going to make the same mistake of forming attachments again. The memory of Acxa will serve as a warning to that.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (well, if you liked that, please leave kudos and/or comments :)))


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